PostHeaderIcon Would this be taking advantage of my sister?


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My sister is staying with me & my son for a week.

Firstly, she said every time we visit each other, I always complement the studs she’s wearing, I obviously like earrings, and asked why I don’t get my ears pierced.

I told her I’d been thinking about it, but the only ones I’ve seen that I actually want to wear are small, very elegant diamond studs. I don’t like big dangle ones at all, and right now I can only afford the rubbish out the teenagers shop, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable walking around with “candy” stuck to my ears. I’d window shopped for some diamonds from the high street, but the cheaper diamonds were dull and not as sparkly, and you could see where the metal had been soldered – but even then when I get a week or 2 full-time (covering sick leave or freelance), there are debts, and stuff I need for the house, and I need to lay something by for Christmas, emergencies etc. I asked how much they’d cost her, then explained that was more than me and my son have to live on for 5 weeks.

There is very little work for computer programmers here now. As there are so many of us looking for work, employers are being choosy and insisting on a degree and 3 years experience, and I’m just out of college. The less well paid stuff (that new grads used to do) is put out to tender, and is all being picked up by “competitive” Asian outfits where people will work for a pittance. I only work 4 hours a week teaching an evening class and have to claim welfare to get by. She’s OK, she’s a doctor, and that’s recession proof. Maybe I’ll get them done when the economy picks up and I can get a proper job.

She took her earrings out and gave them to me, and said “but make sure you keep the crap ones they give you in for the first 6 weeks”. I said I couldn’t accept them, it was way too much, but she said that money is for spending, and what better way to spend it than to give her little sister something I’d really love. She then said my debts are crippling me. Forget the main student loan, that is a government thing and repayments are based on means, so I don’t have to pay it at all right now, but the extra loans I took out from the bank to get through college (since the main one isn’t enough), the car loan, the credit cards, and the loan I rather stupidly took out for a foreign holiday before I learned my lesson. On condition I cut my credit cards up, she’ll give me a consolidation loan out of her savings to pay them all off, and leave a bit extra to buy the stuff I need for the house. She’ll freeze repayments until I get a decent job, and she doesn’t want interest, although if I insist she’ll take as interest what the bank would have given her on it.

I think she’s being way too generous and taking her up on her offer would be taking advantage of her. She says she’s just doing what sisters should do for each other.

3 Responses to “Would this be taking advantage of my sister?”

  • Brittany says:

    She just sounds like a really great sister. Don’t overextend her gratitude, but when you’re back on your feet return the favors in other ways. She seems to realize family is worth more than anything, you’ll remember this for years to come!

  • cheery says:

    I don’t believe that you are taking advantage of her. She is your sister and she wants to help. She sees that you are in need and she has a means to help you. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. My parents are having financial issues right now. I know that if I had a way to help them I would and I would be very upset if they refused the help I was trying to give them. So do your sister a favor and take the help she is offering.

  • ima nice guy says:

    first off you should forget about the earrings. They are a luxury item and one day when the time is right, you’ll be able to buy your own. generously decline the earrings. As far as the loan goes, it’s a good idea to get all your bills paid off and pay your sister off over time. Heres the important thing, DONT SCREW YOUR FAMILY OVER EVER. And whatever deal you make with your sister, put it on paper, basically a contract. even though it seems like families don’t really do contracts. its the best thing you can give your sister in return for the favor she’s doing you. make sure you put down the expected amount of time for her to receive all of her money back (ex: year 2015). and make sure you keep track of all your payments on paper through receipt or paper signed by her. These are just pre-cautions to take so everything equals out in the end.

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